Love, me

Saturday, July 19, 2003
07:21 p.m.

As I mentioned here, I'll be really glad to get a job. Honest. But I kind of want to spend as much time as possible with Kane, before he enlists on the 30th of September. If I get a job, we'll only be able to meet for dinners, and if I get the GIS job, it's at Science Park 2 and by the time I knock off and rush home, it'll be sevenish. And work starts at 830 in the mornings, so I won't be able to stay out that late.

Moreover. This is gonna sound pretty bitchy and that's why this is under Friends Only (and in my inallhonesty.pitas.com blog for non-LJ users), but Lianne's quitting her job in about 2 weeks. And I most certainly do not want her to spend excessive time with Kane, especially since I won't be with him in the day. I mean, I know they were friends first, I know they were really palsy-walsy and all, but. Bitchiness aside, and to be 100% frank, she's a flirt. She flirts with almost every guy. Even Kane. Its just her, really. And they used to be really affectionate too, before Kane and I got together. I mean, Lianne's just someone who's touchy with guys, as well as girls. And while it was okay for them to be touchy before we got together, things are different now that we're a couple. Anyways.

I just don't want her to hang out alot with him anymore. I mean, he's mine. I swear I'm not some jealous possessive freak, though it sounds like it. You've got to know the both of them, and the complexities of the friendship the three of us share, before you'll truly understand what I mean. I can truthfully say I wouldn't mind as much if he spent more time with his other girl pals, but I'm just not okay with her being too close to him. Because other people accept and gracefully acknowledge the fact he's taken, but she doesn't. To put it crudely, even though she doesn't want him for herself, she wants his touch. Like, when we first got together, she actually thought she could still touch him and lean on him and get him to hold her etc, without either of us (him or me) minding. It's just a difference in viewpoints, she thinks its no biggie for guys and girls to have such close bodily contact for no reason, and I know for certain she's not interested in Kane, but hey, I'm conservative that way.

And I damn bloody well do NOT want my boyfriend holding or touching any other girl, unnecessarily.

But she didn't accept that. She didn't respect my opinion and my wishes. And I had no clue. Till two months later, when I found out by accident she still leaned on him (for no reason at all!) and got completely pissed with both him and her, and made him tell her to stop that behaviour.

And that is why I still don't want her to be too close to him. As mean as it sounds, I don't really trust her.

Please, those of you who have access to this, keep it to yourself. Thanks.